Ramona from TikTok asks a question about trust.

Hi Andrew,

You've gone through so much, how can you trust people really again?

Ramona from Tiktok

Dear Ramona.

You know, I've had a lot of time and a lot of mixed emotions to think on this very topic. To be honest, there is no real answer here. It's just a momentary shift in need and does that need outweigh the fear or anger that keeps me from wanting to trust people. If you asked me this nine months ago, I would have said, you can't. But then, seven months ago I would have told you, you have to figure out how, because that is what I had to do.

Because, eight months ago, I had my back pressed so firmly against the wall, I truthly thought that was it for me. But in this time, I had strangers reaching out to help, almost everyday and from all over the world. And I trusted none of them, until I taught myself how to. Not because I was able to easily, but because I had no other choice. You see, the rock and a hard place I was in was that I had my ex business partner, who harrassed me for over a decade, teamed up with the owner of the RV i was in an accident with AND the woman who was in the accident with me. And they weren't just sending me private messages, they had created a tiktok account dedicated to saying that I stole from the woman, and tried to steal her insurance payout, they said i was wanted criminal and kept telling people that I was drunk or high or distracted and that I caused the RV accident. And between her family in France, the RV owner and her friends in the US, and my stalker, they had amassed people from my own community by sending them private messages saying everything i just told you plus more.

Their intent was to alienate me, discredit me and prevent me from staying in Europe, while also trying to get me arrested. One of their people literally messased me saying I am here for you, while in that same hour, messaged over twenty of my community telling them to contact Gary, my stalker so he could show them that I was a wanted criminal. These actions and the loss of what i thought were my people because of these people broke me inside. And where it started was with my trust in everyone. Like I literally trusted no one.

I was failing at figuring out my visa, until I had a small chance come to light, and I could get, but I could not do it alone. So my need was that if I did not figure out how to ge tmy visa in time, I would have to go back to the US, without any money to get me there, with my dog somehow, and the only thing welcoming me there was all the shit I left.

But to just even hae the smallest chance to stay, I would have to do the thing i could not do ---trust people; again. And, I didnt know how, so I did it the only way I knew how---- to give it. Not to everyone, just a few that still doubted, but doubted less then others. I was upfront with each of them, I do not fully trust you, but I can't see any other option but too. And with everything I had, I leanted into trusting them.

21 days later, i had traveled across three countries. Received my visa approval and had a temporary place to stay to figure out my next steps. Seven months later, I have a home, a car, a few friends, a business I am building, have earned some money of my own, and the most important things -- provided safety for my dog and hqve given us a chance to really build a life here.

I may not have much, but I have a billion percent more then I did nine months ago. And each week, I keep growing. And I can honestly say, all of this was possible, because I didnt find a way to trust people again, I just did, --- because I had too--- but now I trust people because I want too, and I can. So, you see, trust is never really the answer. It's the need. And you either need to, or you don't, before you want to and are willing too.

Andrew Jang

@sevenofandrew

Andrew is an overthinker, world traveler, tiktok creator, dog dad and advice giver., but to address yours. How do you date when everything is so materialistic and superficial?