I miss you. Oh, but I don't.

I dont miss many people and it is always an odd feeling when I hear that from someone I dont miss. Sometimes, I feel weid about it and other times I feel nothing. Specifacally, I have this acquaintence I met from New York. He is a good person, and I think he values me as a friend, but I do not think of him that way. It has nothing to do with him, but just the requirement I well, require for somone to be a friend nowadays, and well maybe ever.

Which is odd since I used to love bomb evrryone when I was drunk in my 20s.

But missing someone seems intimate to me. It signals a level of intimacy, not in the we are making out or having sex kind of way, but in the we shared something so powerful that I cannot ever forget you kind of way And that kind of intensity is not topical in my opinion.

So its rare, that I miss anyone and in fact, I have not missed anyone in a long time --- wait, I miss my french grandmas, ok, but they fit the bill. They saved me when i needed it and their kindess will always sit with me and I will never forget them and every meal we shared.

So I miss them with everything and that makes sense to me. But missing anyone else does not.

Am I the only one on this or am I just being to stiff? its an interesting thought of who gets missed and who we miss. And I wonder if I have not put more thought into it and if that has anything to do with me not feeling as connected to peole.

So who knows. Maybe I need to go back to love bombing strangers over 3 dirnks and it may trigger me to miss more people, before I miss them all

Expect typos and such, I do not edit these personal ones and clearly I type horirbly == I am on a french computer if that gives me some defense.